One of many things I can’t bear in life

Do you have a problem visiting a dentist? I mean, do you feel anxious thinking about what the dentist will do with your teeth? The drilling sound scares me the most. I always worry that the dentist’s hand might slip and drill my gum. You know, no one can avoid human error. Who knows that I’ll be the unluckiest person in this world whose gum is accidentally drilled by a dentist? Yikes, horrible!
Around two weeks ago, I steeled myself to meet my dentist and asked him to pull one of my molars. That day was the first time I’ve ever voluntarily asked a dentist to pull my teeth. My milk teeth just fell out one by one effortlessly, so to speak. So practically, until today, I still don’t know how it feels when my tooth is being pulled. All I can imagine is my gum will be torn apart and bleeding like crazy. Some people said it won’t be painful.

*Nodding in disagreement*
It won’t be painful physically, but it will torture you mentally. Damn it! *faint*
It sounds a little bit exaggerating, doesn’t it? Thank to my squeamish trait.

Why did I want to pull my molar?

Because this tooth has been a pain in the ass for a long time; because this tooth has made me broke; and I don’t think I want to spend any rupiah anymore to fix it. I just want to really let it go. Though I know it will leave me in despair. It must be awful for having a gap between my molars that used to be my weapon to crush a crab’s claw. 😦

Here’s how everything started. Around 6 years ago, a cavity started to appear on one of my molars but I ignored it for a long time. The cavity was already too big when I came to my dentist for a treatment. Now, I’m kicking myself. 😦
But I will not let this molar rules my money life anymore. I said, “This is it! I can’t stand you anymore, tooth!” I stepped into my dentist room with all the brave I could muster and tried to look nonchalant in front of my dentist. Though the truth is I was so intense.
As I walked, I tried to conjure up about how the process would be going. My dentist will ask me to open my mouth, anaesthetize me, grab his pliers, and pull my tooth with all his might. Geezz… I really wanted to cry.

But I was so lucky—or maybe unlucky, I really couldn’t distinguish my feeling that day—the doctor said that pulling that tooth was not a brilliant idea. I may do that if anything else has failed. Dang!

I’m kind of speechless and disappointed… my dentist surely didn’t know how hard for me to make that decision.
“Doc.. are you sure? I really think this tooth has been a pain in the ass for these recent years,” I said.
“First, your tooth looks so fine. I didn’t see any problem with it. Second, there’s still another thing we can do to fix it. Third, it’s not gonna be easy to pull it out,” said my dentist with smile.
It is not gonna be easy…

I translated it as “It would be painful, you idiot!”
Just so you know, I also have a problem with my jaw. The medical term is temporomandibular joint disorder. It will relapse whenever I open my mouth too wide just like I did last month. The pain still relapses now.

Temporomandibular joint disorders are problems affecting the jaw joint – usually pain or reduced movement of the joint.
• Pain in the joint area or nearby. The pain is usually located just in front of the ear, and it may spread to the cheek, the ear itself, and to the temple.
• Jaw movements may be reduced. This may be a general tight feeling or a sensation of the jaw getting stuck. Very rarely, the jaw may get ‘locked’, causing difficulty in opening or closing the mouth.
• Clicks or noises can sometimes be heard coming from the jaw joint when you chew or move your mouth. These noises can be normal, so they are only relevant if you have other symptoms in the joint such as pain or reduced movement.
• Because the ear is very close to the jaw joint, some people get ear symptoms such as noise in the ear, sensitivity to sound or dizziness (vertigo).


Well.. finally I gave up. I let my dentist give whatever treatments that he thought it could solve my problem. All the boldness I had a few minutes before had vanished. I don’t want to worsen my jaw’s condition at this time. And I don’t know if I could ever have the courage to ask the dentist to pull my molar next time 😦 It’s kind of double combo.

If only the cavity didn’t appear….


One thought on “One of many things I can’t bear in life

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